Picture of Freedom

I have this picture stuck in my head... I can see it so clearly I may even try to draw it... It is a black and white picture. Of a girl dancing, dancing freely... If I end up drawing anything close to it I'll post it...


It has been a long time since I have last written, and be assured, it is not because nothing interesting has been happening. On the contrary, things have been moving quite fast and it is almost hard to keep track of all that God has been teaching me... except He has basically been teaching me one thing, but from many different angles and perspectives... 


I have been learning about freedom and being me. Finding the freedom to be me, the who I am deep down inside, being that person on the outside. I wish that I had better words to say all that I wish to...
I have just been realizing how I have (and I believe we all do) put myself in little boxes and decided that only if I fit perfectly into what I think I should be like or what other expect me to be like will I be happy or be me... but I find that as I try and fail to be neatly contained in these boxes--I don't find freedom, I find self-inflicted bondage. 
Oh, I'm so tired of chaining myself to what people think... to what I think I should measure up to... I do badly want to be me--to be free to be me. And I want this so bad for you-- I want you to be free to be you. To love and live the way you were made too.... I am not interested in what you can give or what you think I want you to be.... You are beautifully made to be you, and when you are you--it is beautiful and moving and you are just what you need to be.


I long for freedom, but not just for me. My heart cries out to see you free. I look around and I see so many beautiful people twisted with pain and hopelessness because they don't fit into the boxes... they lament and wish they were different and "normal"--but I see the beauty of who you are.
The most I look around, the more I have been seeing with God's eyes... seeing people as beautiful just the way they are. Hear what I am saying--
You are beautiful the way God made you. He enjoys you just as you are. When you look to God and give Him all the broken pieces of your heart... He is the Healer of broken hearts, He can make all things new. 


I guess what I have been finding out, is that there is freedom when you look to God to find out who you are. I have started to see that when I turn to Him and dance before Him--forgetting the watching eyes of those around me--I am able to dance with abandon. I able to stop caring if I look like a fool or if my form is correct. I can let my dreadlocks down and dance like a little kid before her Father. Knowing that I am delighted in. 
There is such a feeling of freedom when you "chuck it all" and let go. When you come before God with only a broken heart and weak and foolish love. And He just smiles and like the warmth of the sun, the pleasure He feels radiates down on my heart. True freedom. 
The picture of a girl dancing her heart out, eyes closed to the world and heart alive.
Dancing in the freedom of being herself. Finding joy in the opinion of the only One who matters.