The dull rumble of life and finding the still small voice

I'm sitting in Higher Grounds cafe, breakfast is over and I have an hour till my fist class. The coffee shop is crowded and there is a dull rumble of people talking, and thanks to the earbuds in my ears there is a soft melody weaving all the noise into a strange sort of peace.
I know I'm getting all poetic again... but I'm realizing how precious this time in my life is. This three months to not worry about paying the bills, getting to work on time, and weather or not to see that latest movie... I have my time pretty much laid out for me, between classes, prayer room, and hanging out with roommates.

So last night was my first night back in the Prayer Room and I realized again how much work it takes to quiet my mind and heart. I tend to have about four million things running through my mind-- what should I read in the Bible, comments about the music, wondering when I will run to Wal-Mart and what I will need, and so many little snippets of things... to actually stop my mind and listen to God is so hard!

It really is one of the hardest lessons in life-- to shut out all the noise of life and spend those dear moments in silence before God. I struggle so much with trying to "fill up the awkward silence" with God... I talk at Him, I sing to Him, I read His word... but waiting and listening to Him... that is a hard one.... It is like those moments on a date, when there is silence and the other person is just looking at you. And you are like.... "well, we are having lovely weather today!" and they just sit there looking at your with a smile, and suddenly even your skin feels uncomfortable. They are looking at your and not saying anything. And you wait..... and yes, they end up speaking.... but it is so easy to try and fill up the silence with idle chatter trying to make oneself comfortable again.

And that is how things are with God sometimes. He loves to talk with me. But He is slow to speak, and will not interrupt me no matter if I am saying the most hollow words... He is faithful to listen to me.
I believe this may be one of the biggest things I will be learning in there next three months....
How to be quite before the Lord, enjoy the silence, and become quick to listen.

This is one of the things I want to learn SO BAD: to be quick to listen. I want this in my relationship with God, but I also crave it for my human interactions. I see again and again, how quick I am to change the topic to myself or to throw in my opinion.  I desire to be a person that even a stranger would feel comfortable talking with. I want to be a person who values the words coming out of others months more than the ones coming from my own.
Last track I started to understand that words are powerful and can be a great blessing or a great hinderance. After reading the book of James I was ready to not talk for a great while. But still with my own interest mostly in mind.
Now I want to value listening because hearing the other person is worth my silence. Because more is learned and discovered when listening.
So that is my prayer for this track.

On a side note: the track has not really begun yet, track 2 came a week early, so our schedule is still full but geared to preparing us to be examples and really valuing this time-- our last three months in the internship. I'm very glad for this time, for I'm reestablishing myself in the "prayer room culture" and really putting down roots for the rest of my time. I'm so excited to meet the track one-ers and hope to become really good friends with them, but I love that I have time to catch up with my friends who I have already invested so much of my love in!

Oh I love you all. Those of you at home, and those of you who are abroad. I love you. God is good and He is faithful. If those are the only things in life, those things I know. Remember Him when times to hard, and look to the One who will always Love you and Never forsake you. Take Him at His word, and buckle up! For it is Quite an awesome and unexpected ride!
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