Changes

Changes are funny things.
It is easy to change my hair, to get a new piercing, to change the color of my hair.
These are all things that people can see and be like, "Oh you've changed."
But the Changes that really count don't often show themselves on the outside.
Some of the Changes happen in the heart and only show after a long time of living life.

On Thursday I started taking my dreadlocks out (well, my wonderful friends really did all the work) but after several hours of work, I now have "real" hair again.
And it has struck me--I have always thought that I am what I look like--that if I changed I would have to change the outside too.
I realized yesterday when I all my hair was straight again and people commented that "Oh, there is the Hannah we know!" that this is going to be the real test. For now I look like the "old" Hannah, but am different on the inside, so will I stick true to who I really am? or me tempted to be the "old" me?

I have found it easy to be "different" when I had dreadlocks-- because honestly, who looks at the girl with dreadlocks and is scandalized that she is worshiping with her arms in the air? Who looks at the girl with dreads and expects her to be anything but a radical?
But what about the girl who looks "normal?"
Will she act "normal" as well, or be true to the change inside?
(not that the outward expressions of worship and such are such changes, but will she go out of her way to love the ones who don't fit in, now that she does?)
These are the questions I'm facing.
I kinda like them to be honest. I've always liked doing the hard thing.

I have entered a new phase of life for now, still in between places and "doings" but how will I live. How will I love? God, I'm asking for the grace to be true to the changes you have done in my heart, even now, when my outsides don't reflect it like they once did.

So I guess the question I am left with is this: "How then shall I live?"
I'll spend my life answering it. <3