Just Breathe

So far today the comment that keeps running through my head is: Just breathe, it will be okay, just breathe. And it is true, the best thing that I can do is breathe, take things one at a time, and give everything over to God. Although it is something I have learned about a million times, I continue to have to re-discover that I can do nothing on my own, but only through total reliance on God.
After a few days of hectic running around, I am almost all packed up and in the process of moving it down to the basement/into the van... and tomorrow I sign a lease. Kinda crazy how fast things are moving and changing. It is good, but again that phrase it one I keep coming back to: Just Breathe. Trust God and Breathe.
That is my motto and probably will be forever.
So often I want to stress and try to get things done... but I try in my own strength, and I fail, or complete what I was doing, but at the price of my sanity.
Again and again I will remind myself: I am going to the next step in life, and this step (all all those to come) is not something that I can accomplish on my own. I am moving in faith and relying on God.
I have tried already the living of life in a "safe way" in a way that I can meet all my needs and not risk anything. But nothing is gained. Only dread dreams and complacency.
No, I have decided in life, I am going to risk it all to follow my God, my dear Jesus that I love. I will follow His voice where ever it leads and trust His to supply for all my needs. And thankfully, God knowns my weaknesses and tendency to doubt, so I have these times of preparation--Where it is my choice if I will trust and see Him come through. He is preparing me, and I am so thankful. Thankful to have a God like Him, and thankful He does not just throw me in the deep end and leave me to my own devices. He is a loving God who is with me always, waiting for me to ask for help so that He can step in and bless my socks off. Which He does constantly!

Coolness

God is so cool, can I just say that?
Because it seems when things finally get going in live and you've got God on board... well, things go Fast and He provides so awesomely!
Yesterday everything came together for the apartment/half a house that I've been looking at. Now, all I have to do is sign the lease and I've got a new place!
It is just so cool, every other place that I've lived has been furnished and had most all the things that I would really need. And now I get to move into a place and make it from scratch! I'm super excited!
I keep seeing how God is filling my needs even as they come up. I've been needing a bed (kinda important thing to have) and just today I have one now! And it has happened like that with so much. I needed good jeans and the basics like silverware. And what happens? I find all of these jeans at Goodwill that are nice and half price! What happens next? My parents are going through the house and getting rid of extras that provide me with the basic things I will need!
It is just so cool to see God provide for me. and not just provide, but add the extra "cherry on top" like a REALLY nice rice cooker for less than 5 dollars. He is just so Good. It is so neat to be in a place where I need so much, and have so many opportunities for God to provide for me!
Trusting His is so awesome. Yes, when you follow Jesus, life is not a piece of cake. In fact it can be Super hard, but He is so worth it. And not just for the times when He provides a toaster oven--but for just Who He is. It is an honor to be loved by God and to be able to love Him return.

Wooden Heart

 A few weeks ago, I randomly came across a link to this song... and I have fallen in love with it. At first it is the strange mixture of music and poetry... but I looked up the lyrics today and have seen it in a new light. At first I was captured by the style, but did not catch too much of the message... and today I have read these beautifully crafted words and they have moved something deep inside me. I encourage you to read these lyrics and listen to the song, I hope they bless and inspire you as much as they have me. 

WOODEN HEART by Listener

We’re all born to broken people on their most honest day of living 

and since that first breath... We’ll need grace that we’ve never given 

I've been haunted by standard red devils and white ghosts 

and it's not only when these eyes are closed 

these lies are ropes that I tie down in my stomach, 

but they hold this ship together tossed like leaves in this weather 

and my dreams are sails that I point towards my true north, 

stretched thin over my rib bones, and pray that it gets better 

but it won’t won’t, at least I don’t believe it will... 

so I've built a wooden heart inside this iron ship, 

to sail these blood red seas and find your coasts. 

don’t let these waves wash away your hopes 

this war-ship is sinking, and I still believe in anchors 

pulling fist fulls of rotten wood from my heart, I still believe in saviors 

but I know that we are all made out of shipwrecks, every single board 

washed and bound like crooked teeth on these rocky shores 

so come on and let’s wash each other with tears of joy and tears of grief 

and fold our lives like crashing waves and run up on this beach 

come on and sew us together, tattered rags stained forever 

we only have what we remember 

I am the barely living son of a woman and man who barely made it 

but we’re making it taped together on borrowed crutches and new starts 

we all have the same holes in our hearts... 

everything falls apart at the exact same time 

that it all comes together perfectly for the next step 

but my fear is this prison... that I keep locked below the main deck 

I keep a key under my pillow, it’s quiet and it’s hidden 

and my hopes are weapons that I’m still learning how to use right 

but they’re heavy and I’m awkward...always running out of fight 

so I’ve carved a wooden heart, put it in this sinking ship 

hoping it would help me float for just a few more weeks 

because I am made out of shipwrecks, every twisted beam 

lost and found like you and me scattered out on the sea 

so come on let’s wash each other with tears of joy and tears of grief 

and fold our lives like crashing waves and run up on this beach 

come on and sew us together, just some tattered rags stained forever 

we only have what we remember 

My throat it still tastes like house fire and salt water 

I wear this tide like loose skin, rock me to sea 

if we hold on tight we’ll hold each other together 

and not just be some fools rushing to die in our sleep 

all these machines will rust I promise, but we'll still be electric 

shocking each other back to life 

Your hand in mine, my fingers in your veins connected 

our bones grown together inside 

our hands entwined, your fingers in my veins braided 

our spines grown stronger in time 

because are church is made out of shipwrecks 

from every hull these rocks have claimed 

but we pick ourselves up, and try and grow better through the change 

so come on yall and let’s wash each other with tears of joy and tears of grief 

and fold our lives like crashing waves and run up on this beach 

come on and sew us together, were just tattered rags stained forever 

we only have what we remember

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8k9rD7lx9c

Quick Update!

This is a quick update on my life... I need to sit down and write... (I have started a post so many times, but never seem to get to the Posting part of it... :)

But I am looking at moving out on my own! (again) And --God willing-- will be moving up to Marion, Indiana in a few weeks!

I'm super exited to be in a new place with new people. I plan on getting a job and looking into getting involved the prayer movement that has started up in that area! So YeAH! I've been looking for housing and getting my stuff all in order.

I'm so ready to get into the next step of my life! (Not to mention working again! YAY!) God has already been showing me His great faithfulness in looking for a place and working out the details. I am looking forward to seeing how He continues to move things in my life and heart.

Love you all and I will write again soon!

A Mason Jar of Chai and Coffee

Recently I have been seeing over and over again the importance of being who we are. It is so much easier to be what we want to be than what we are.
Life is what we made it, and we are who we are. We can choose what we do with this next moment and the moment after that--but if we let our hearts and minds be taught by God and the situations we pass through--we become who we Are and were meant to be.
At every turn there is a change to cave, to become someone else. We have options in this life.
Will I follow the voice of God, or will I listen to what I think I should be doing?
I will be content with how I am, or will I strive to love the people who are outside of my comfort zone? Will I be hurt when people don't notice me, or will I make a point to interact with those who are overlooked?
What do my actions say about who I am now, and will I take the hard road to become more of the person I want to be?
I was thinking today how easy I find it to love the people who are odd, weird and just plain strange. I love the people who scare then "normal,"and that is a great gift. But will I limit the people I love to just those who are easy to love? Even when people may think that I'm doing such a good thing (for they may have trouble loving these odd ones), but will I do the hard thing (for me) and love the normal people? Even love the preppy people?
Because the point in this life is not what people think--not of me and not of what I do.
The point is love. --> I am to Love God, and to Love people. <-- End of story
But how far am I willing to step out of my comfort zone to love?
And what is Love anyway?
so often love is portrayed as a feeling, as a warm-fuzzy, happiness and smiles all the time.
But what is Love really?
I'll tell you what love is. Love is giving of yourself when the one you love does not deserve a thing. Love is pain embraced in your life to make the life of another less painful. Love is sacrifice. Love was crucified on a cross for the love of people who spit in His face. Love is a choice, as well as a gift. Love is a reason to live, and makes a life worth living. Love is a Person.

What choices will I make today to Love? Will I allow myself to be confined by the definition of this world or of another? Or will I stand for God and Love with the Love He has given?
I guess the point of this blog is this: be you. And Love.
One more thing: you alone have very little love, I alone have very little love if any to give.
But because I have first received the Love of God, I am able to give Love.
This is a daily process. I am but a weak cracked pot--coming back to the Father to fill me up with Love so that I may love.
Every once in awhile I get it into my head that I should be able to love all by myself. I try and try to love people, but end up getting spent and angry and the very people I am trying to love. Receiving the Love of God must be a daily, moment by moment thing. Realize that He loves you.
He is not just a ATM or a slot machine, He is a living breathing Person who wants to have a relationship with you. He wants to walk this life hand in hand, listening to you and telling you wonderful things.

Life is so much more than I realize. I write these blogs as much to be a reminder to me as to tell you anything. I pray that today God will draw us closer into His heart and pour out grace upon us that we would have a relationship every moment of the day.